I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
