I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
