Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
