I accidentally had phone sex last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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