I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
