He told me they were just razor bumps!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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