Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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