so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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