this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
