The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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