Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
