We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
