i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
