Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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