ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
