addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
