Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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