I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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