wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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