I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize