i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
