She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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