I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
