you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
