Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
