He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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