You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Floor bacon is actually really good
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
