Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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