Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
