Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
