he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she smelled like a LAN party
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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