She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
