I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
