Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
