I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
