Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
