I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
