all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
