His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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