Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
