How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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