hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
