Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
