i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
