i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
