I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
