I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
