He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
