I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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