i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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