Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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