You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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