On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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