thus making me awesome and them whores
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
